Make Chicken Shit Online

Chicken Shit Producer

There is plenty of speak online about the term: “Make Money Online“. What would happen if we replaced the word “Money” with “Chicken Shit“? Why on earth would I want to do that? Good question! Here’s why:

Today, on the plane to Sydney, I remembered a story I read by Ajahn Brahm last year. What would happen if we had to replace money with another medium? What would that medium be? I think you get the picture!

This is a fictional lighthearted prediction of the future. I have adapted the story a bit to relate to Internet Marketing for all you people out there that love the internet.

Make Chicken Shit Online

In the not so distant future, the world would run out of paper and metal to make banknotes and coins. As an alternative for money, people would use Pellets of Chicken Shit instead.

Pellets of Chicken Shit - not really!

People would walk around with pockets full of chicken shit

Banks would be full of the stuff and robbers would try to steal it

The taxation department would take a large chunk out of your chicken shit before your employer paid you

Rich people would be proud of how much chicken shit they had

Poor people would dream of one day winning a huge pile of chicken shit in the lottery

Some people wouldn’t trust the banks with their chicken shit – so they would stash it in their mattresses instead

Governments would focus excessively on the chicken shit situation in their countries, give piles of it in foreign aid, bribe each other with it, stash a pile of it in their 401(k), and ignore social issues until there was enough chicken shit to go around – which was never

Governments would even sign over the chicken shit supply to the privately owned central banks

AND people would be all over the internet searching for “Make Chicken Shit Online

About Sean Rasmussen

I am a passionate blogger and have been a full time internet marketer since 2005. When I'm not with my family, you will find me doing SEO, building websites for many of my clients, and creating products out of thin air! This is a cool gig and I love it!

Comments

  1. Cherie says:

    I would love a huge trailer of chicken shit and then spread out my chicken shit all over the field and hope that it helps more things to grow for more chicken shit. That’s recycling….

  2. Yes, but the government wont let you print your own chicken shit. That is called counterfeiting currency!

  3. Ange Recchia says:

    Hahahahaha… that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while!
    Thanks for the funnies… and the thought of chicken shit all over the place… I”ll need a gas mask!

  4. Yes, the privately owned central banks will own the chicken shit and be able to manipulate global economies, create wars, create recession’s, fix recessions and much much more with chicken shit!! LOL They now do it with what we call a dollar note which is basically chicken shit, worthless, there is no gold or silver in it, just paper and print, we ourselves make it become of value. I can go on about this topic forever so I’ll leave it there.

  5. Gee says:

    You could say some people are already full of it.

    Politicians come to mind

  6. Jazz Salinger says:

    Hi Sean,

    That’s very funny but I really hope we find a different medium. Still, it a makes an excellent point. We can call it whatever we want but it’s the value that we as a society place on it that makes it valuable.

  7. Love it, love it, love it!!! Found the Chicken Shit one. I have a soft spot for Making Chicken Shit Online! I printed this & went over it with a fine tooth comb as if I was going to find the magical formula to your SEO success. That was last June when I was ghost-writing for other people. Now, I have come so far & learnt so much since joining YOTA and being part of the community.

    Sean – you must do another one!!!!!

  8. Would we then want chicken shit to grow on trees? How many people would be growing chickens of their own and over feeding them exlax?

  9. David Lee says:

    That is Hilarious! I wonder how they would differentiate the currencies from around the world… would they go by look, smell or … taste?? :/

    Although the post may seem like a joke, if Sean’s got it right, he is one step ahead of all of us to get a great ranking for “Make Chicken Shit Online“.. nice one!

  10. Elly says:

    Hi Sean

    This post is really great. I was thinking (as I do sometimes)
    of how it would sound if you replaced the word ‘money’ with ‘chicken shit’

    “Put your chicken shit where your mouth is” (I don’t think so)
    ‘A million chicken’s shit prize in tonight’s lotto” ( you would need a tip truck to get it home)
    ‘A chickenshitaire or a multi chickenshitaire”
    “He/she is loaded with chickenshit”
    “Chicken shit talks”
    I am sure someone else can think of more……

    Blessings
    Elly

    • The mind boggles Elly :-) Have you ever dreamed about rolling in chicken shit :-)

    • Pete Boyer says:

      Hey Elly,

      As I was scrolling down reading the comments, I was just starting to think of a few of these, myself. You beat me to the punch.

      Some other’s that come to mind:
      (Thinking Elvis, here!) “It’s one for the chicken shit, two for the show…..”
      And of course, everyone knows that “The love of chicken shit alone, is the root of all evil!”

      If chicken shit was money, does that mean eggs would be bullion?

      Just a thought!

      Cheers,

      Pete

      • Elly Wilson. says:

        Hey I like it! I have just been thinking about lots of songs with the word money in them. shared the concept with the family and we are all having lots of fun with it.

  11. Jill Brown says:

    Hi Sean,
    I can’t wait! I’ll join in on the Chicken Dance once we start Making Chicken Shit Online. I’ll be so happy and I know by your teachings and by your examples that this can lead to truckloads!

    Just think (take Elly’s example) how happy all us Internet Marketers will be once we are earning real on-line Chicken Shit! You’re very right Sean in your assessments. It’s in my dreams. Thank-you for giving me this opportunity to discover true value.

  12. Willem Broekers says:

    I aim to be the biggest Chicken Shit producer on the internet!

  13. Colin says:

    What a fantastic idea. I can see bands like Pink Floyd and ABBA re-writing their songs and re-releasing them, thus masking them even more chicken shit.

    “Chicken shit, it’s a gas
    Grab that shit with both hands
    And make a stash”

    • Harry Lynn says:

      G’day Colin,

      Years ago I accompanied a comedian who cracked me up so I almost fell off the piano stool by the simple substitution, in several LOVE SONGS, of the word PUMP instead of HEART.
      You Are My Pumps Delight
      With A Song in My Pump
      Etc – feel free to modify your favourite love song

      Not quite a chicken shit song, but funny at the time. This post reminded me of that gig.
      Cheers
      Harry

  14. Or worse…chickenshit for nothin’ and the chicks for free…Dire Straits haha I s’pose thats why the yanks have the greenback m/

  15. Very funny, especially the comments!

  16. Have always wanted to make chicken shit online… growing chicken shit in trees is a huge dream of mine… one day it will all be mine… mwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh (I say rubbing my hands in chicken shit).

    Some people seem to be thrown with this blog – they ask “Why Sean… have you lost your marbles?” I say he may have lost his marbles but he has gained a chicken shit load of something else…

  17. I love this concept, bring it on.

  18. Trish Rock says:

    You’re so funny Sean! However, this is what gets the message across isnt it? And really, money IS just a trade for something else, so it really doesnt matter if paper or chicken shit :-)

  19. Harry Lynn says:

    G’day Sean,
    This reminds me of the story of 2 crocodiles from Canberra who were comparing notes on their diets. One was healthy and strong, and Two was skinny and gaunt.

    One asked ” Tell me about your diet ”
    Two replied ” I wait until I see a politician approach, run out, grab him by the throat, shake the shit out of him, and eat him ”
    One replied ” No wonder you’re so skinny, after you shake the shit out of him there’s bugger all left to feed you ”

    BOOM BOOM BOOM

    It really doesn’t matter what our currency is called as long as we can use it as a medium of exchange – as Cherie said a truckload of chickenshit spread around will help things grow a lot more. Will you provide the forum members with a peg to help us overcome the aroma ?

    Cheers
    Harry

  20. Sue Brown says:

    LOL how funny, love pete boyers comments too!
    Well i hope to soon have CHICKEN SHIT EVERYWHERE!!!

    Wishing you all lots of success, energy, love and chicken shit lol!
    ;)
    Sue

  21. Rita Pepper says:

    Hi Sean,
    Walking into the chicken coop is never going to be the the same.
    It means every day I go to take the grand kids to school, I firstly have to walk in “Chicken shit” to feed and water the producers maybe I should give them double helpings :-) ,

  22. Rose Kawe says:

    Wow Sean, now you’ve got me laughing my head of imagining winning the huge pile of chicken shit in the lottery, hahaha. That’s a good one, and why not replace the word “money” with “chicken shit”
    Cheers
    Rose

  23. Dobbs Franks says:

    I grew up in the Ozarks (the hills of Arkansas) and often would come in around dinner time with chicken shit between my toes as well as other places. With my long experience with chicken shit as a child and producing it as an adult (figuratively) I could likely get elected to the position of President of Chicken Shit Inc. I’m not quite convinced that embarking on this YOTA caper isn’t part of my training for the position.

    Dobbs

  24. David Pearse says:

    That’s great!, very funny! it makes a good point. I think we have a pre-occupation with the name “money” for some of us its on far too much of a pedastool. Calling it chicken shit really puts it into perspective.

    I’m off to buy some chickens just in case!…………………..

  25. Cade says:

    Hahaha! It puts a whole new spin on making a deposit!!
    Hey, didn’t the Pet Shop Boys have a song about this

    I’ve got the brains, you’ve got the chooks
    Let’s make lots of Chicken Shit.
    You’ve got the fowl, I’ve got the brains
    Let’s make lots of Chicken Shit.

    It was something like that away…

  26. Jill Brown says:

    Making Chicken Shit online sounds better than making chicken feed…….

  27. Greg says:

    I wish I could make chicken shit on-line as I can’t make anything….yet!!

  28. Leigh Aubrey says:

    That was funny!!! The chicken shit I have had deallings with over the years was very smelly just like money!!!

  29. Elizabeth says:

    If chicken shit were currency, no one could own a chicken or they’d be accused of counterfitting. All of our chicken meat would come from government farms and only the old or constipated birds would be slaughtered.

    There was a small chicken farm in my little home town when I was growing up. We would run past it on the way to or from school. lol Talk about the smell of money. :D Currency is what you perceive it to be. Something of value traded for something of value.

  30. Mel Smith says:

    Eggscellent story Sean – maybe if the world was running on a ‘fowl’ economy of Chicken Shit, we wouldn’t have the ‘foul’ economic cycles we do currently?.. ;)

    Then again, Governments & private corporations – oops, I mean – Central Banks would no doubt establish their “C.S. Currency” monopolies – Steggles & KFC would be the first targets under new chicken-anti-terrorism legislation, where forbidding human consumption would allow trillions of chooks to live (& shit) as long as possible. All backyard chooks in yards across the globe would have to be surrendered to the goverment, as the new C.S. Standard is adopted. Covertly there would be black-ops projects in chicken super-sizing, to create C.S. mega-pellets & undermine the value of every other countries C.S. Currency. This new medium of exchange would be called the CrapBack & become the driving force of economic exchange. However, this situation would only last until the chain of H1N5 Banks decide to lend the chickens more C.B. than they have in reserve, to buy their own farms & multi-storey coops at inflated prices, *cheep* rates & without the chickens needing to supply shit-for-proof of income.. Never believing the economics could change & the bubble burst in this new chooktopian society, so many countries, (now up to their necks in shit) wouldn’t even be able to buy a shovel to dig their way out…

    But guess what – I heard Cow Pats are the real deal – C.P. economy, anyone?!?… :)

    • Elly Wilson. says:

      Mel, this is brilliant!

      I have had such a good laugh over what you have written, the endorphins have had an early release. You are onto a winner here, I would bet chicken shit on that!

      Actually cow pats are a great idea, at least you can use them for fuel and they don’t stink… or would that be money going up in smoke?

      It’s great to have a laugh.

      Blessings
      Elly

      • Mel Smith says:

        Thanks Elly! I had fun writing it, thinking of just how crazy our world is, caught up in the fake economic values we all agree upon.. When it comes down to it, it all means **shit** :D

        Yeah the cow pats could be a good fuel & fertilizer, as always! Might be a bit chunkier & heavier to carry around in our purses, instead of chicken shit as currency though! Ewwwwww…. :(

        Cheers, Mel ;)

  31. Bernadette says:

    Hmmm … stashing chicken shit in your mattress instead of putting in the bank. the effluent scent of affluence!

  32. serena says:

    Loved reading the comments :) Y’all Chicken Shit!! …. lol

  33. Jacqui Emery says:

    I really like my chickens so if more chickens means MORE chicken shit then this will be a good thing!!!

  34. Lisa Wood says:

    Hello Sean,

    Great way of looking at how much our money will be worth one, Chicken Shit worth :)

    Never thought of what we change our medium with if it was not money, but have heard of one country that did lose their “Value in money” and to buy a loaf of bread cost more than you ever thought possible. In the end their currency was worth nothing – well worth shit all.

    Not too keen on having to carry around chicken shit, and it would be interesting to see what happens when it gets accidently left in someones pocket and goes through the washing machine……mmmm – yuck!!!

    Glad I found this link for this Blog “Make Chicken Shit Online” on FB….because I have seen so many comments about the blog title but was not sure what the followers were talking about, gets interesting when you only half of the story!!!

    Like how you see things in different ways.
    Cheers
    Lisa

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